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不错，鼓励鼓励，继续！！

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Honey, We've Got a Little Car Trouble
(Originally in English)
A wife said to her husband, “We've got trouble with the car; it has water in the carburetor.”  The husband exclaimed, “Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous!” The wife repeated, “I tell you, the car has water in the carburetor.” The husband said, “But you don't even know what a carburetor is! Where's the car?” And the wife replied, “In the swimming pool!”
咱们的车出点「小问题」

有位太太对先生说：「我们的车子出问题了！化油器进水了。」先生说：「化油器进水？真是荒谬！」太太拉大嗓门说：「我告诉你，车子的化油器进水了！」先生说：「可是你连化油器是什么都搞不清楚啊！

车子在哪里？」太太回答：「在游泳池里！」

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The Time Has Come!
(Originally in Chinese)
There was a disciple who was responsible for brewing and serving tea for his master. His master had a precious antique teapot, which the master loved very much. Once, perhaps because he was too deep in samadhi and his limbs became weak, the disciple broke the teapot inadvertently. He was frightened to death, having no idea about how to explain it to his master.The time for serving tea arrived, and the disciple was standing there in a foolish manner, not knowing what to do. Finally, he came up with a clever way to save himself!Straightening his clothes, he went inside, bowed to his master ceremoniously and said, "Master, I have a big problem, which has caused a lot of concern in my mind. I have wanted to ask you about this for a long time; but dared not do so, fearing that I would trouble master. I wonder if I may ask you today." The master said, "Of course you may. Why didn't you ask sooner? You came here to follow master because you need to ask questions!" So the disciple asked, "Master! Why is it that for everything, death follows birth? Why must there be death? You and I, are we also going to die? We are practitioners, and being so sincere, do we still have to die?" His master said, "Oh,Sure! Shakyamuni Buddha, Jesus, Confucius and Lao-tzu all had to die. Where there is birth, there must be death!" Then the disciple continued to ask, "Is there any exception,anything that will not die?" The master said, "Absolutely not! Death must follow birth. If the time has come, death is for sure!" Then the disciple stood up and said, "I report to master, the time has come for your teapot today!"
时间到了！
     有个徒弟专门煮茶、泡茶和倒茶给他的师父喝。他师父有个茶壶是很宝贝的古董，他一直非常喜爱它。有一次，那位徒弟大概入定太深，手脚都软了，一不小心把茶壶摔破了，他怕死了，不知道该怎么跟师父解释。倒茶时间到了，他在那边笨脚笨手不知道该怎么办。终于他想到一个妙计可以救自己了！他把衣服拉整齐，进来很隆重地顶礼师父说：‘禀师父，弟子有一个耿耿于怀的大问题，好久想问不敢问，怕打扰师父，不知今天能不能问？’师父说：‘当然可以，你怎么不早问呢？来这边跟随师父就是为了要问啊！’他问：‘师父啊！为什么万物有生就有死呢？为什么一定要死呢？我和你以后也要死吗？我们修行人那么诚心还是要死吗？’他师父说：‘一定要死啊！释迦牟尼佛、耶稣、孔子和老子都要死的，有生就有死嘛！’然后这位徒弟继续追问：‘有没有例外、不会死的东西呢？’他师父说：‘绝对不会！有生就有死，时间到了一定要死！’然后徒弟就站起来，说：‘禀师父，您那个茶壶今天它时间到了！

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工作后少用英语,基本上看不出所以然了.

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Heavenly Baseball
(Originally in English)

There were two friends who were both big fans of American baseball their entire lives. They
always talked and would discuss anything that concerned baseball. They went to every baseball game possible, year-round, and they said to each other that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in Heaven. One summer night, one of the two friends passed away (after watching a baseball game,of course). So he died a happy man. A few nights later, his friend Bob heard a voice from beyond, saying, “It’s your friend!” And Bob said, “John, is that you?” “Of course it’s me!” John replied. “That’s unbelievable!” Bob exclaimed. “So tell me, is there baseball in Heaven?” And John said, “Well, I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want to hear first?” “Tell me the good news first.” “OK. The good news is that, yes, there is baseball in Heaven.” Bob said, “Wow, that’s wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?” “Well, the bad news is that you are pitching tomorrow night!”


天堂棒球赛
　
有两个好朋友，他们整个辈子都是美国棒球的超级球迷，他们老是在谈论棒球的事，也几乎一年到头

都去观看球赛。他们还约好不论谁先往生，都要想办法回来告诉对方天堂那儿有没有棒球活动。 某个

夏天晚上，其中一位过世了；当然，他是在看完球赛以后死的，所以他死得很快乐。过了几天，他的

朋友鲍柏在夜里听到上面传来一个声音说：‘老兄，是我啊！’鲍柏就问：‘约翰，是你吗？’ ‘不然

还会有谁啊！’约翰回答。 鲍柏大声说道：‘真是不可思议！快告诉我，天堂那儿有打棒球吗？’

约翰说：‘嗯，我有好消息，也有坏消息要告诉你。你要先听哪一个？’ ‘先告诉我好消息！’ ‘好吧！好消息是，天堂这里有打棒球。’ 鲍柏说：‘哇！太好了！那还会有什么坏消息呢？’‘坏消息是，明晚轮到你当投手！’

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A Dear Memento

(Originally in English)

Someone asked a woman, “I see that you wear a locket on your neck. It must be a very dear memento from some loved one.” The woman said, “Yes, it is a lock of my husband’s hair.”
So the friend said, “Wow! You are so sentimental! But your husband is still alive. Is it necessary?” And the woman said, “Yes! I know, but his hair is all gone.”


珍贵的纪念品

　
有人问一位女士：「我看你的脖子上戴着一条心锁项链，这里面一定有你所爱的人的珍贵纪念物。」
那位女士回答说：「是啊，里面珍藏着我先生的头发。」朋友接着说：「哇！多么浓情蜜意啊！但你的丈夫还活着，有这个必要吗？」那位女士说：「是啊！我知道，但是他的头发已经全部掉光了！」

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Works Like a Charm

(Originally in English)

A man approached a beautiful woman in a supermarket and asked her, “You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you please talk to me for a few minutes?” The woman asked him, “Why?” “Oh,  you know, because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife will appear out of nowhere!”

巧施妙计

　
在超市里，有位男士走向一位美丽的女子，问她说：「我在超市和我太太走散了，你能和我聊天几分钟吗？」这位女子问道：「为什么呢？」「喔，因为每次我和美女讲话时，我太太就会出其不意冒出！」

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I Love You, Too

Boyfriend: I'm not rich and don't have a yacht or convertible like Harry,but I love you, dear.
Girlfriend: I love you, too. But tell me more about Harry.



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　　　　　　　　　　　　　　我也爱你

男朋友：虽然我不象哈里那样有豪华游艇和舒适的生活，但是我爱你，亲爱的。
女朋友：我也爱你。不过你能否告诉我有关哈里的一些情况呢？

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The Clever Dog

A little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper. The family dog began to howl along dismally. Finally, the father could endure the combination no more and said, "Can't you play something the dog doesn't know?"


　　　　　　　　　　　　　　聪明的小狗

一个小男孩在练习小提琴，他的父亲在读报纸。随着小男孩的琴声，家里养的狗也开始高一声低一声的叫起来。最后，小男孩的父亲实在忍不下去了，说，“难道你就不能拉一些狗听不懂的曲子吗？”

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加油

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恩，不错，真可爱

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